"You Can Help"

How often do you help a stranger out? Most of us are too busy to be engrossed in some stranger's business. But I believe that helping other people can be easy.

You don't need to do anything grandiose to help someone; I think the minimum to help them is stepping aside if they're passing through. Helping extends to social media, where you can make someone's day better by getting them to laugh at the things you post. Sometimes, they could get so distracted from those posts that they forget about their troubles. Two of my friends and I managed to do that on Twitter.

In September, a stranger found me randomly from seeing my comments on several posts. At the time, I was involved in a big shenanigan with my friends, and the stranger got curious about said shenanigan, then later, involved in it. We had a lot of fun.

In early October, he sent us a message. He wanted to thank us for changing his life without meaning to. That didn't make sense, but he explained that before he met us he was having a hard time with his depression. He was all alone, on the verge of suicide, and reduced to screaming at hallucinations. When he found us, he got so distracted with our jokes that he managed to get a hold of himself, and we didn't know we made that possible.

I was shocked when I read that. Not ever have I helped someone in such a significant way, least of all by posting image macros on the internet. That experience inspired my belief in helping, and I know there will be a change in what I do when I see someone struggling with their things, or if a flurry of papers fall out of their folder. I won't stand by and stare; I'll act.

End of Year Reflection

1: What are the three most important things you learned this year?

     At first thought, it seemed as though I haven't learned any life-changing lessons. On second thought, I realized they don't exactly have to be life-changing lessons: just very useful or important lessons.

     The TIQA format, the unhealthiness of procrastination, and avoiding prejudice. Before this school year, I've never had any sort of experience in writing, so I had no idea about the TIQA format. I actually still don't know when I should be using it, and I'm kinda worried about this entire post. The negative by-products of procrastination are some things I'm constantly reminded of so they're stuck in my mind. It's affected a lot of my personal life, but I won't digress. As for prejudice, I thought everyone in this school would be jerks, based on first impressions of the loudest kids, but apparently not, now that I've spent some time in this class. Basically, everyone here is cool. I've learned of not judging books for their covers long ago, but that particular experience this school year made me relearn that.


2: What is something we did this year that you think you will remember for the rest of your life?

     I have horrible memory, seeing how I already forgot whatever memories I had from two years ago, so I can't really be sure with my answer. Memories of reading activities for TKAM, Night, and TwM may have the highest chance of prolongment for me, since they're all really great books that I'm interested in owning for myself.
     It's rather ironic that I'm losing grasp of those memories while I'm typing this, but I'm sure I'll get them back once I reread those books.


3: What is the nicest thing someone in our class did for you this year?

      Not many things really stand out to me since I don't remember much, but I'm just glad my classmates haven't treated me like an outcast. People have offered to hang out with me throughout the year (I think) but I never really took the chance to (I think), but that is enough of a gesture to let me know I'm not disliked. I expected I would be seen as an oddball way before I even knew which middle school I would be going to, or even before I knew middle schools existed, since they don't in the Philippines.

     Actually, I don't even know what my classmates think of me or what my personality is like. Perhaps let me know in the comments?


4: What is something you taught your teacher or classmates this year?

     I don't have a better answer for this, but perseverance beats intelligence. I've gotten MAP scores that belong in the 99th percentile, but my class work has always been subpar to my work from 7th gradeーbefore I started slacking. Unhealthy habits restricted my time, and thus, the quality of my work this year, and I was unable to give it my all.

     I bet you can tell from my tone that I'm really disappointed in myself. I don't really like this answer since the lesson taught was a result of my incompetence, and it gives off a negative vibe. So, if you're reading this, it would be nice to see something I taught you with a positive vibe in the comments, since I can't really think of anything that fits that description on my own.


5: In what area do you feel you made your biggest improvements? What is something you accomplished this year that you are proud of?

     Here's the thing, I sort of dislike myself, so I pay more attention to what I can't do than what I can do. That means I have trouble judging myself on my abilities. If I had to say, though, I think the quality of my writing has improved since the beginning of the year. Well, I've never had English Language Arts in my life before, only Grammar, and the only references for professional writing I had frequent contact with were my Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books. In that sense, my biggest accomplishment would be a piece of writing, which coincidentally answers another question on here.


6: What was the most challenging part of the year for you?

     Without a doubt, keeping up with homework while remnants of my obsessive perfectionist personality co-persist along with 5 months' worth of lazy attitude has been freakishly tough. In the Philippines, school ends around late March, and I landed in O'Hare in early April. Since I technically didn't have school then, I had an absurdly long vacation, and in that time my hardworking self vacated my mental confines. That meant I started to put off work until the last minute.

     I can still recall the feeling of exhaustion from staying up way too late, until 2 AM at the most, painstakingly writing countless of notes as accurately and concisely as possible on sticky notes and sticking them inside each and every single page of To Kill a Mockingbird. As wonderful of a book it is, I would much prefer reading casually and discover new details by myself, at my own pace. Working like that was pretty bad. As I'm typing this, it is 1 AM, and that feeling is resonating within me. Send help?


7: What was the best piece of writing you did this year? Why do you think it is your best?

     As of making this post, it's still not done yet, but I feel rather proud of the "This I Believe" essay I'm working on. Partially because it has to deal with how I got one of my closest friends, partially because I get to write in my own style, and partially because this is the sum total of the writing experience I've accumulated this year, but mostly because of the event that spawned my belief. I still find it surreal that I helped someone get a hold of himself while he had severe depression. Once I remembered about that, I knew I had to write about it. My past works have been subpar, I know that, but I will make this one minute essay the best I can.


8: Of the books you read this year, which was your favorite? Why?

     Tuesdays with Morrie was absolutely incredible. In the afterword, I believe, Mitch mentions that one of the publishers he presented the book to said he had no idea what a memoir is. Poor man missed out on an international bestseller. I wonder if that person lays down sometimes and thinks, "Well, I screwed up."

     To Kill a Mockingbird and Night are equally great books, but I tend to be drawn to books with a lighter atmosphere. Yeah, Morrie was going to die, but it had a more casual feel to it, compared to the realist vibe TKAM gives me and the obvious horror of the events told in Night. Tuesdays with Morrie is just a rather simple retelling of a meaningful relationship between an old man and a young man, and it is practically swimming in aphorisms. That book made me rethink a lot about American society, and at points the Philippine society. I mean, you're guaranteed to be degraded for anything you do there, even being smart. That's pretty far from making people feel good about themselves. Ah, it also made me cry a bunch.


9: What advice would you give students who will be in this class next year?

     Do not EVER think about slacking off, for several reasons:

1. Tons of Falcon Fouls. If you tell an assignment, "I'll do that after I finish this game, yadda yadda," you're in trouble. Trust me, I've gotten multiple Falcon Fouls this way, and at times it gets worse in the way that your payload increases, forcing you to sacrifice time for another project that you also need to work on, spurring more Fouls. I think the fact that even having an actual reason to be absent is potentially enough to put a kilogram on your mental shoulders is proof enough.
2. The suffering. Once you finish all your work, the feeling of satisfaction is way better than suffering full time from unfinished responsibilities.
3. The free time. Wouldn't you like to live a life free of worry? Or at least worry about some other thing in peace? Yeah, I've done that before, when I worried I wronged one of my friends so much that I forgot about my homework. When I did remember, my brain almost stopped working. It was nearing midnight.
4. Repaying Ms. Larson's efforts. Now, I'm not trying to butter her up. But even though I've only been in this class for around three-fourths of the year, I can tell she puts in a lot of work just teaching this class. I've taken note of the multiple times the contents of the bulletin board change in just a day, as well as a bunch of other things I wanted to write but my sleep-deprived mind suddenly decided to forget, but it's mostly in how she seems to manage a lot of things at once. Others may think otherwise, but this is what I think. You can fight me on this, I swear.

Thanks for the wonderful year, guys!

Aphorism Poster

"Death is not contagious, you know. Death is as natural as life.

It's part of the deal we made."

     This particular aphorism refers to how Morrie thinks most people see death as "contagious," and how they are so afraid of death as if it isn't natural. Yet it is only natural that life should come with death: "It's part of the deal we made."

     In June 2012, my maternal grandfather died. Apparently he died in his sleep, foam in his mouth. Peaceful or not, I'm not sure, but he died naturally, although his years were cut short by tobacco. Like Morrie thought, the immediate family hadn't treated his death as thought it was natural, except they acted in denial of it instead of treating it as contagious. They didn't want to believe that my grandfather was dead. I accepted it, though, either because I knew somehow that death was natural or because I was a hundred times more emotionless than I am now.

     If I disagreed with this aphorism, I wouldn't have chosen it for this project. After being introduced to this idea, I thought that what brings about life should have some sort of equalizer, something that ends life: death. Otherwise, the earth would be filled with pleasant old people, with not too pleasant old odors. Actually, wouldn't they have decayed by now? It would be much like Morrie's condition for most of the book, except far worse: unrecognizable flesh bags, forced to live for eternity. War would also be more pointless than it already is. Life is natural, and its counterpart and equalizer, death, is also natural. It's needed just as much as life.

My Personal Aphorism

     Close-minded individuals think that the way they perceive society is the only way society exists.

Which Tuesday with Morrie Has Inspired Me?

One of two very late posts. Whoops.

     Among the first six Tuesdays we've read, the fourth one, in which Mitch and Morrie discuss death, moves me the most. Although, it was rather hard to pick from among the six since Morrie is absurdly wise, so I went by eliminating which I felt spoke to me the least, and repeated until I only had one Tuesday left.

     The first (the world) and second (feeling sorry for yourself) Tuesdays I can relate to the least at the moment. I feel as if the third Tuesday, about regrets, simply plants the seeds for the fourth Tuesday. The sixth Tuesday, in which Morrie tells Mitch about fully immersing yourself in whatever emotion you're feeling in order to be able to detach from it, is one I've given more thought than the former Tuesdays. The fifth Tuesday is about the importance having a loving family, which is something I absolutely agree with. However, admittedly I have felt rather detached from mine for the past few years.

     The fourth Tuesday really makes me question the lifestyle I have currently. I'm not sure why, but I've always thought my life would end several years earlier than others'. Perhaps it's because my body feels a lot weaker when I'm sick. It's as Morrie says in the chapter: “Everyone knows they’re going to die,” he said, “but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.” But what would I do? I give so little thought to what I'd do when I have enough power to be on my own, which I subconsciously believe is the only limiter to what I can do. I hope to find time someday to give it some thought.

     On that train of thought, Morrie imposes another scenario about death. Morrie asks, "Is today the day I die?" He also encourages Mitch to ask himself this. So why not me, too? Will today be the day I die? Will a murderer bust into my house? Will I pass out from exhaustion from working long hours into the night and never wake up again? While I was reading the book, I was so sure I'd do as Morrie did. He's living life to the fullest he can live while shackled to his chair by ALS. Reflecting upon it, though, I wonder how I'd do that. Knowing how little time I have would only make me panic, instead of trying to enjoy what time I have.

I think the answer to what I'd do in both scenarios lies in Morrie's aphorism: “Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” Perhaps if I know how to die, I can be like Morrie, in almost complete comfort in his chair. I don't know yet.

It seems as though what draws me so much to this particular Tuesday is how it serves as a reminder of how lost I really am. I only realized while writing this post. I guess you learn something new everyday.

Socratic Seminar Final Reflection

If I were to explain how the Socratic Seminars influenced my thinking about Tuesdays with Morrie, or life in general, I wouldn't have much to say. If anything, the book itself influenced me the most, and the Socratic Seminars only helped tie a few other things into what I know.

I noticed that my personal goals for the Seminars mainly focused on my ability to contribute to the discussion, as well as how much I can contribute. This is mostly because I am an introverted person, and it's hard for me to speak loudly or voice my thoughts well around people I'm not exactly comfortable with (no offense, everyone here is cool but I'm still unfamiliar with you all). This was most apparent during the first Seminar, when the number of times I spoke up was most likely a single digit number. My performance in the second Seminar was a considerable improvement over the first, and thus my goal changed to being readily able to cover a wide range of topics pertaining to the material we were studying. Ironically, I was left speechless in the third Seminar as everyone started talking about subjects mentioned in the book, but with material from outside the book. My goal reverted to the one I had for the second Seminar.

The class changed a lot throughout the four Seminars. At first it was challenging to contribute to the discussion (or talk at all) since we haven't had a Seminar for a few months, but we started picking up after the first Seminar, which influenced me as well. We identified our goal as not to hang on too long or let go too soon from a topic for the next couple Seminars, as a reference to an aphorism Morrie had. The actual reason for this was that we shifted from topic to topic too much, but ironically we hung on to the topic of abuse for 20 minutes straight in the third Seminar.

Usually, we changed topics abruptly, usually forcing another subject into the conversation. Another trend is that most participants who didn't speak out of their own interest in the first Seminar started doing so in the next three, aside from a couple of people. Another was that I usually had to squish myself into a table to make room for people to my right for three Seminars straight.